Longing for you to Come Back
by TheHandOfTheDarkness
Summary: You see her, it aches but you can't tell her, you don't want to be a burden, and as you wait, everything goes wrong, she went abroad and you can't do anything to stop her, you wait for her and when she does, you are surprised for what both say. NicoxMaki oneshot :D Enjoy, R&R Cover by Yuuko Tachibana.
**This is my first English story Yay! Well it was difficult because my English level is a little bit low… but I finally managed to do it as a little project, my next story will be also in English**

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You graduated, and went to the first Idol company you could find the same day, although rejected, quickly composed yourself and keep searching, they were harsh, wanting all µ's, you said that they would join once they ended their studies, but they weren't fools, they knew about the decision of the others to not continue as Idols, you were depressed, until a little company hired you.

Then the second year trio graduated, although you tried to convince them to join you, they rejected the offer as Nozomi and Eri did, arguing about their promise. You decided to not keep pressure on the subject and continued in that little company, but even with your greatest efforts, you didn't advanced at all.

Then _she_ graduated, that day you were really nervous as you waited _her_ , you wanted to say how much you loved _her_ , how much you longed to be by _her_ side, when you found _her_ , walking quietly in the Otonokizaka school terrains, without Rin or Hanayo, you called her name happily, and although a little bit surprised, _she_ didn't said anything and instead looked at you coldly, you didn't notice and tried to talk, but your throat was dry and you couldn't make any sound. With the words stuck, you tried to close the distance, _she_ was surprised but when you touched _her_ hand, _she_ quickly rejected it, you were surprised and tried to make a joke at _her_ rudeness after so long but you couldn't talk, _she_ got angry at you, saying that you didn't even tried to call _her_ all the time and that showing up on _her_ graduation day was the most stupid idea you could have ever done, _she_ slapped you, hard, you couldn't think well now, _she_ screamed how much _she_ hated you and you felt your heart being thrown all over the world against an enormous wall, _she_ walked away, and you couldn't move, you wanted to cry but you couldn't, you wanted to throw off a bridge, but you couldn't, you barely noticed Rin and Hanayo, who were watching the whole scene trying to comfort you, they said that they left _her_ alone for a bit to go and buy some drinks, you didn't listened to any of their words, and when Hanayo hugged you, you regained control of your senses and cried your heart off, she was patting your head while Rin watched uncomfortably, they explained that after you called them the day before to plan your confession and agreed, they thought about stopping you, knowing that _she_ was mad at you but they didn't said anything because you were really looking forward to it.

You couldn't be mad to them, it was your fault entirely, and you should have called _her_ every day, after you calmed down, they took you to your apartment, a little bit surprised at how little it was, you didn't said anything and they left, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You cried silently all night in your bed.

The next day, your boss, whom you were working your ass off, decided that you "Were no longer enough", you would have beat the crap out of him, but you couldn't, knowing that he would probably use that as blackmail. You decided to not saying anything and leaved silently.

The next day _she_ called everyone (except you) because _she_ was going to a Medical University abroad. The next week everyone were there in the airport to congratulate _her_ for _her_ accomplishment you were barely holding back the tears, _she_ didn't said anything to you not even where _she_ was going or that _she_ was going, as Nozomi had called you, when _her_ eyes caught yours, you noticed _her_ cold and indifferent glare for a moment before _she_ looked away to talk to Hanayo. Your heart broke even more, you longed to stop _her_.

 _She_ said goodbye to everyone except you and you really started considering throwing yourself off a bridge.

You noticed Nozomi worried gaze, you decided to ignore her, she knew how much you wanted to cry but didn't said anything, the moment _she_ leaved, you knew that the others were glaring at you, but before anyone could make a sound you run as fast as you could, knowing that no one would chase you.

You stayed in your apartment that day, ignoring the frequent calls from Nozomi and Eri, you couldn't stop crying, the next week when Honoka came to your house, you tried to hide your emotions, but ended up crying helplessly in her arms, she was shocked when you confessed the reason of your sadness, she didn't knew much but tried to make a joke about you not being honest before and even then showing so much affection for _her_ , you cried harder and she apologized quickly, excusing herself uncomfortably about helping her mother at their store, leaving you crying and depressed once more.

Nobody came again, not even Nozomi or Eri.

Everyone started taking different paths, you didn't care what they did, because you just wanted to know what _she_ was doing.

It didn't take long for you to realize that you would never be a real Idol, more because you was alone, you remembered your first and second year at school, knowing that it had happened again, you left it… like that old guy said, "You were not enough", You thought about calling Nozomi, as she had gave you her new cell number months ago, but you discarded the idea quickly, knowing that she was probably busy.

You begin searching for another thing to do, finding that your "Idol's Wrath" has taken 2 years of your possible study time, you found a job at a maid café, they didn't pay you too much but at least is was better than anything, you start the Laws career, hoping that it was something you could do without having to rely on anyone else.

Nozomi and Eri tried to keep contact with you, calling from time to time and coming to your apartment once a month, you appreciate their help, as you didn't tried to make any friend at college.

After 3 years of the same routine, you see on an interview that _she_ is doing well, all of _her_ hard work had made _her_ accomplish to finish _her_ career in 2 years more, you're not, Laws were much more difficult than you thought in the first place, but you would make it, while you were thinking, something in the news draws your attention, as the interviewer asks _her_ about _her_ love life, your breath it's hitched and as you're about to turn off the television, she says coldly that she is not interested in anyone, although this is not the first time you watch her in an interview, as she usually returns to Japan from time to time, it surprises you, nobody asked her that before, the interviewer is a little taken aback, and you can't help laughing, after all this time, she is still a tsundere.

Nozomi calls you to make a party for _her_ 2 years later, you're reluctant to go, but she manages to make you promise that you will go, saying that if you refuse, she's going to go to your apartment and punish you, it's not the threat itself what makes you accept, but the longing of seeing _her_ again. You thought you would get over with it, but you couldn't, although heartbroken the feeling remained the same.

The day before the welcome party, you're nervous again, not sure of what to do, you can't sleep, as the feeling of _her_ words that day linger in your mind, you start thinking of possible scenarios, some including _her_ hitting you repeatedly and saying how much _she_ hated you, you try not to think too much about it and keep trying to sleep.

You can't and you are extremely tired by the time Nozomi and Eri shows up, her hand tightly holding Eri's, you go to change your clothes and when you return, you roll your eyes as they are snogging in front of you, you clear your throat loudly and tell them you're ready, both of them are red with embarrassment and you just laugh a bit, it's so nice to be able to mock Nozomi for a change.

But then you can't say much more as you're extremely nervous, according to Nozomi, it's a surprise party held at _her_ house, their parents were out of the country for the moment, and they granted permission to make the party, since _she_ doesn't have a house yet.

When you arrive, the house is basically a mess, Honoka and Rin being totally excited about their reunion after so many years that are turning the house upside down, they are more excited as they see you, asking why did you never tried to call anyone, you're amused, and calm them down arguing that you've been studying really hard, which is not a lie but it's not the truth.

Nozomi quickly interrupts by saying that _she_ is coming with Hanayo from the airport, and that they are close, you help the two hyperactive ones cleaning and when Nozomi gives the alarm, you tense but quickly hide behind an armchair.

The voice you have longed to hear since 5 years rings through your ears, talking amusedly to Hanayo, as they are in the lobby and you are all waiting in the living room, Nozomi pats your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile, you try to smile back and the door opens, all of you jumps and screams the classical "Surprise!"

 _She_ is surprised at first, but it quickly fades as _her_ smile grows, and everyone rush to _her_ side (except you) to hug _her_ , _she_ finds you, and _her_ smile fades as quickly as it has showed, _she_ send a questioning glare to Nozomi, who looks like a little child that has made a little prank, you are worried things are going to be awkward again, more when _she_ suddenly exits the room.

You are sad again, Eri puts her hand in your shoulder and you don't try to listen to her words, Nozomi exits the room too, you are willing to get out of there as fast as you can but Eri stops you, saying something about leaving it to Nozomi.

Everyone is quiet now, they look at you pitifully, you don't like it, several minutes goes on before Nozomi appears again with _her_ , you don't dare looking at _her_ direction and instead look at the ground, you notice movement and when you look up, _she's_ taking you by the hand.

 _She_ takes you to a room with a piano, you are surprised that _she_ has taken your hand, so you look at _her_ , _she_ doesn't look at you, and instead is looking at your hand, you see sorrow in her eyes and you are worried again, you try to say something but _she_ cuts your words, hugging you tightly.

Your body seems to react by itself as your arms encircle her neck, you start crying, you had missed her warmth so much, _she_ doesn't notice at first but as _she_ does _she_ looks at you, _she_ is also crying, _she_ hugs you tighter and you feel happy, which hasn't happened since a long time, after both of you have calmed down, _she_ starts telling you what Nozomi tell _her_ , apparently, she had told her about the days after _she_ left, _she_ asks you if it's true that you haven't eaten for a week and that you were depressed and didn't go out your house in weeks.

You are still hugging _her_ , your face hidden in _her_ chest, _she_ has grown so much…, you didn't, you are almost the same height as when you had 16, you tell _her_ the truth, excluding of course how much you died then and now to hold _her_ and do so much things to _her_ body, _she_ listens to you carefully, _her_ hands on your waist feel way to much warm to you, you want to kiss _her_ , you want to hold _her_ tighter than you are currently doing and you want to feel that beautiful body of _hers_ with your hands and mouth, you look at _her_ and the closeness takes your breath, _she_ looks at you puzzled and you wonder if you are drooling, you instantly look at other place, stammering.

 _She_ laughs a bit and you love _her_ voice when she does, you love _her_ , so much that it hurts a lot right now, you hesitate a bit but as _she_ calms a little, you look at _her_ , and close the distance, _her_ lips are way more better than what you had expected, it doesn't last to much because you want to see _her_ reaction, _she_ had stopped laughing and is now looking at you surprised, _her_ lips slightly parted, you are mortified, you want to get out of there before _she_ has a chance to reject you, but as you try to free yourself from the hug, _she_ brings you closer and press _her_ lips to yours passionately, you don't have words to describe it, it's feels so good, you pull _her_ even closer, returning the kiss and _she_ slowly licks your lips, a moan is muffled in _her_ mouth and you let _her_ in, _her_ tongue sweet and warm, you notice _she_ has started to move _her_ hands through your body and you moan more, feeling _her_ hands on your breasts, _she_ starts kissing and licking your neck, you are amazed, you never thought that this would happen, _she_ starts to take off your clothes and you remember that there's other people in the house.

 _She_ is licking and nibbling your ear, you notice _she's_ about to take off your shirt and you reluctantly tell _her_ to stop, _she_ looks at you, you see desire and confusion on _her_ eyes, you grab _her_ by the chin and quickly press a kiss to _her_ mouth, you tell _her_ to wait a bit, as the others are still there and probably on the door eavesdropping.

 _She_ says that _she's_ not going to wait, but as _she_ hears sound behind the door _she_ stops reluctantly, you are happy, finally, all the things you've dreamed of are now a reality, well, except one, you kiss _her_ again, and try to put all the love you felt for _her_ in it, _she_ returns it and although you should be convinced, you need _her_ to say it, you timidly ask _her_ if _she_ likes you, _she_ is a little bit taken aback with the question but _she_ shrugs it off quickly, _she_ kisses you passionately and _she_ says how much _she_ loves you and how much _she_ has waited for this moment to happen, then _she_ asks you the same, you are totally honest, you had loved _her_ since the very first moment you've seen _her_ , _she_ smiles at you warmly and you can't fight the stupid smile in your face.

You say that it's better to go to the party, and then both of you could have fun later, you wink at _her_ and _she_ blushes, _she_ starts to stammer and you grab _her_ hand, _she_ blushes even harder and you just giggle a bit, you open the door and 5 girls falls in the room, Nozomi laughing as Eri almost ended in the floor as well, you can't hold back your laugh and you see _her_ also laughing, you give _her_ hand a squeeze and smile at _her_ , Nozomi starts mocking you and both of you blushes as _she_ notices the way your clothes are and you just shrug it off, you are embarrassed but you don't say anything.

The party goes well, you talk normally to everyone, they don't care that you didn't do it since 5 years, they are happy to see you as much as you do, _she_ didn't release your hand at any time, and you are more happy for it, at sometimes you sneak with _her_ to kiss, but you don't do anything else as it would be easily discovered, both of you waiting for the party to end.

As it ends and Honoka convince everyone to sleep in the house, you just say that you want to sleep with _her_ and although _she_ blushes and scolds you, you can see _her_ smiling a bit, Nozomi looks at you with mischief but you just smile at her, she is confused but she is also looking at you approvingly, you thank her for everything she did and she just shrug it off, saying that she is happy to help a friend, you hug her, earning a jealous look from _her_ , you just let out a small chuckle and take _her_ hand again.

As you go into the room with _her_ , you can't hold back, you lock the door and tackle _her_ gently into the bed with a hug and start kissing _her_ , _she_ doesn't stay behind and quickly change sides, kissing and nibbling at your neck, that night is the best for you, _she_ is all the things you had expected, even more, and you show everything to _her_ , not holding back even a bit, that night you know you're totally in love with _her_.

You don't have any regrets, and you know _she_ doesn't either.

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 **A.N.: I tried using a different way of telling the story, I hope you all like it. As always, thank you for reading, I hope it was good enough to read it till the end… please leave me a review if you notice a mistake (Which are probably many), R &R as they say and special thanks to BRH, Why? I don't really know :p.**


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